SO I MADE A MESS OF THINGS... AS USUAL

You all remember JG right? He is the hot, successful, smart as hell guy from North Carolina I was supposed to meet Monday night in Louisville. Well, some things came up with the now ex LTR and I neded to be there for him. Needless to say I didn't make it to meet JG, although he did know I wasn't coming. Now, in his professional life JG stays extremely busy. NYC one day, then KY, then all over TN. Point is, he can be a hard guy to catch up with and talk to. I was missing him because we hadn't had a truly meaningful chat in more than a week. I waited and waited while he finished up work for the day, then we started to talk. One of the first questions was whether there was anything new here. Now, I could have said no, hoped he hadn't already looked, and deleted the blog to bits. But, being the honest gal I like to think of myself as I simply advised him that I didn't think he should read it. Naturally he wanted to know why. So I told him I went out with J. and that we slept together. That didn't go over so well; in fact he was pretty pissed. Well, pissed is probably not the best description, more like REALLY hurt. Now, for those handful of readers out there who know me I HATE HURTING ANYONE! I am not the kind of girl who gets off on fucking with people or playing with someone's emotions. So, right now I feel like 5 pounds of Grade A shit. I have apologized, but I know that isn't going to fix this. And to be honest, JG deserves someone better than me anyway; but still it hurts. Not because he will likely never talk to me again, but because I hurt him deeply and I hate knowing how he thinks of me now. And because I feel like an idiot for making him feel unimportant! Did you follow all that?
So JG if you read this know that I never meant to hurt you. I think you are really a great guy and would like to see if this isn't something we can fix; and if it isn't then I guess that's how it has to be. Maybe I am dumb but I honestly didn't know you were that into me, guess I missed the signs big time didn't I? Well, you know how to find me, and if you give me the chance I will make it up to you-somehow. All the best regardless of how this turns out.