4.05.2006

HNT= Had eNough Tequila!


A few weeks back I posted the pics from the night out with my friends here in the 'Fort. I had also partied hard on Thursday night, and then I went out on Saturday with the boys and partied some more...This is the pic of what I looked like on Sunday afternoon after almost no sleep, too much alcohol, and not enough food! I think it counts as an HNT since I have on NO makeup, the hair is a wreck and there are bags under my eyes I could pack a month's worth of clothing in! Very much Half-Nekkid in my humble opinion! "Happy Early Halloween" sorry it's so scary!

4.04.2006

Hump Day, Turning 30, and Shit I Know Now

It's Hump Day and I am Bored! No one to do, No places to be... So, I am now officially counting days until I turn that number that comes after '29'. No, I am not panicked at the thought, nor am I depressed. I am just, I dunno...Annoyed?! Turning that number is supposed to be a big deal right? So, why do I just not care? Maybe it's because I look like I am 26 so I am not worried. Or maybe it's the fact that aside from some health issues I feel pretty darn great. Or maybe, just maybe it's because I am in complete denial and refuse to accept that this is happening to me!

Honestly, I never expected to make it to 30. I have done a LOT of stupid shit that should have resulted in death (or at the very least some form of paralysis). As I have mentioned before I used large amounts of drugs...Probably isn't one out there I haven't tried on at least one occasion. I have skydived, bungeed, driven while intoxicated, dated 2 VERY abusive men (and lived with a third one). I smoke, drive too fast, don't eat properly, and sleep when I can manage to squeeze it in. All in all not exactly a recipe for longevity!
Having said that I also realize that turning 30 has given me a unique perspective. I can look back at all the things I have done that were stupid, reckless, immature, irresponsible, or simply ignorant and see them in their totality. I can appreciate the fact that I AM still here, and that I have actually managed to accomplish some amount of good amid all the insanity. Being nearly 30 has also forced me to assess myself and my priorities. Who am I? What do I want from life in general? What do I need personally and professionally? The answers are much less complex now than at any other time in my life...Which I guess means I am finally growing up! Here are the answers I came up with....

1. Who am I? I am myself 24-7-365. I truly believe life is meant to be lived and I enjoy mine to the fullest. I am a short, curvacious Italian woman who was adopted at 9 days old, raised in a house with Irish parents, and loved despite my best efforts to keep that from happening. I am loving, kind, generous to a fault, I trust anyone until they prove I shouldn't, I don't lie, cheat, or steal. I am smart, funny (goofy actually), love to read, and am quite comfortable being all by myself. I could care less about 'strangers' opinions of me...The people who know and love me accept me and will tell me when I am fucking up~I can count on that!

2. What do I want from life in general? Inner Peace, Love and Happiness~ that's all, really.

*Cue Hippie music and light Patchouli incense*

3. What do I need Personally? A man who will appreciate and respect me regardless of my past experiences. Someone who is kind, caring, devoted, appreciates Art/Music/Theatre etc. A man who will love my son as if he were his own~while at the same time understanding I don't need a Dad for my child; he has a father and a damn good one at that! I need a man who will be there for the long haul, and who won't make promises he cannot keep.

4. Professionally? I need a career! I need to go back and finish college, make MY dreams come true by getting to work on my education. (I was talking to a local lawyer the other day...A guy I have known for a long time. He made the comment to me about how disappointed he was I never finished college and went on to law school...Made me realize how low my expectations have been for myself. Thanks C.O. for the words of encouragement...I am seriously considering making that dream happen!) I know that there is a hard road ahead of me...But Hell, people are retiring in their 70's now so I can still finish school and have a fairly long career ahead!


That's all for me right now, sorry I have not been so entertaining here lately~ busy time for the tax office and all! I promise to be less philosophical next week...As long as you all send gifts that is!

*kisses, hugs, and other lovin'!

Spring Break...For WHO?!

I love my son. I love his evil little laugh, the way he CANNOT look me in the eye and lie without 'twinkling' and giving himself away, the way he can single handedly destroy a clean house in a matter of hours. I love the kid! I do not however, love Spring Break!
An entire week off of school is heaven for him...and I get that because we ALL felt the same way when we were in school. I do not remember saying every tenth of a second, "I am Booored!" In fact, I had a ton of stuff to keep me busy during my vacation from Hell. Growing up in the country sucked at times, this is true; but there was no better place to be when Spring Break rolled around. I could spend all day climbing trees, building forts, riding ATVs, and fighting with my sister. (Remember the GIANT hole we knocked in the wall?! I still can't believe we managed to get that patched up and painted before Mom got home~ and she never even noticed! lol). Hell, I spent one Spring break helping to rebuild the engine on a classic '67 Ford Mustang...How's that for entertainment?!
My son is a different story. He is of the generation that MUST be entertained every single second, and is not adverse to whining, bitching, and moaning if that is not happening. Now, since I am stuck here in the office all day that means he has to roam around downtown looking for stuff to do. Never mind the boy has every game system known to man, a slew of friends within shouting distance of the office, a basketball court/playground at his disposal...NO, he's booored! Sheesh, what's a Mom to do? Heaven forbid I suggest anything to occupy him...that just results in eye rolling, and "the tone." (For those non-parents...I despise 'the tone' it makes me want to run screaming into the street! It's this annoying whine that just DRIPS with sarcasm...makes my ears want to bleed everytime he uses it.) Naturally, I have never been a kid, cannot possibly understand what he is going thru, and am so very 'un-cool' for not forking over large amounts of cash so he can blow it all on gum and soda. (Can someone explain to me why I wanted a son again??? I am starting to think a girl may have been a bit easier at this age.)
The biggest kicker to all this is that he is EXACTLY like me; which makes it difficult to stay mad at him for long. In fact I have a perverse pride in the way he is...because I know he'll be able to take care of himself one day!
So, there it is...Spring Break is here, and I am not enjoying it! I hope the rest of you manage to have some fun...Me, I am off to hunt down the offspring so he can go with me while I run errands~ a fact I am sure will thrill him to no end! (Yeah riiiight!)

4.03.2006

Monday...UUGH!

Mondays Suck! No exceptions, no deviating from the rule...they just SUCK! I am really tired this morning because of the weather last night. I had the neighbors (and their adorable daughter) camped out in the living room with me, so that we could make a run for the basement if things turned really nasty! I brought in the pooch, gave him a much needed bath, watched SAW II for the eleven millionth time...and STILL couldn't sleep! Maybe it's because the roomie isn't here (Bitch is on a cruise, headed to Grand Cayman as I write this~ then on to Cozumel, Belize, and Costa Maya. And YES, I am jealous~ what's your point?!) so the house is very empty and quiet. At any rate I had a productive weekend.
On Saturday I informed my son that I was headed to Lexington with the Roomie to get a dress for Keeneland. He had the option of hanging out here at home or going with. TWO hours, a screaming match, and some begging and he agreed to go with us. We all loaded up into the Coach's truck and headed to the Mecca of Lexington shopping...Fayette Mall. Now, anyone who knows me knows I HATE shopping, and I hate shopping at the mall even more! All the stores seem to carry the same things over and over and over again~ just with different labels sewn in or varying color combos. After popping into/out of several of the finest retail establishments the Mall offers I was becoming discouraged because NOTHING I saw 'called out' to me! Finally I wandered into Macy's...grudgingly got on the escalator and headed to the dress department. After 10 minutes of looking the Coach comes over with this dress...THE DRESS! It was exactly what I had been looking for~ so I was stoked to see if it was gonna look as good on as it did on the hanger. I chose a few other selections and went to the cavernous dressing room to see what was going to work. The first three, while cute just didn't have the 'WOW' factor I was seeking. The last dress, 'THE DRESS' was a different story. I put it on, tied it up, and opened the door to show Coach and get her opinion. As I did a little pirouette the dressing room came to a total standstill.
Now, if that has never happened to you let me explain how odd it is to realize all conversation has stopped and 10+ strangers are staring at you, while you are wearing something you are considering venturing out to Keeneland in...WEIRD! I was ready to dart back into the dressing room and change when I started listening. It seems that ALL of these strangers, and their respective children, thought that this dress was PERFECT. Little did I know they had been paying attention every time I came out in a new outfit. So, since the decision was unanimous and I happened to love the dress it was paid for, bagged up, and we were on the way! After a quick call to my son~ who in his normal sarcastic way expressed his disbelief that ANY women could be done so quickly~ we agreed to pick him up at the exit to Dick's Sporting Goods and head to Target to see what they had to offer. Voila...the shoes, the necessary underthings, some more clothes for Coach to take on her cruise, and one basketball later we were headed home. Time spent from departure to arrival...3 hours! Yup...I accomplished my objective and did it in exactly 3 hours. An entire hour of which was driving, with another 30 minutes or so spent noshing in the snack bar at Target! Keep in mind here folks, it took 2 hours just to get my monster to go with...I could have left him here, gone shopping, and been back almost as fast!
Sunday morning. I am awakened at a brutal 5am to get Coach loaded up and ready to fly to Tampa. Now, did the flight leave from Lexington? Nooooo...it left from Louisville! That means a 45 minute drive as opposed to a 25 minute one! Considering Coach and I had both slept less than 2.5 hours the drive should have sucked ass. However, the fact that I was giddy and Coach was beyond excited made it go by fairly smooth. We pulled up to the curb outside her departure gate, unloaded the mammoth suitcase and garment bag and I headed back home. I fell back into a coma around 9am (seems the 20oz of coffee I had en-route to the airport was not the best idea after all!) only to be awakened at 11:30 by the offspring and his buddy. They headed off to the local YMCA for some swimming and basketball while I did laundry, unpacked more stuff, and read. (BTW, "The Murder Book" by Jonathan Kellerman is great!) After my ex-hubby picked up my son I had a couple of hours to waste before church at 6. I bagged a quick shower, took a longish nap, and walked out into a storm...Damn KY weather, Spring is always nasty~ which makes me grumpy. All in all the evening was rather low-key, which I needed.
So, that was my weekend...not terribly exciting I know, but this weekend will more than make up for that! 4 days to Keeneland people, and 9 days until I turn 30!

Happy Sucky Monday!