HOLYSHIT!!! TELL ME HE DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!!

I officially have a cyber-stalker! This guy from NYC found me on my dating site and keeps ending me naked pics! Now, please note these are naked pics, not "nekkid" pics-and while his body is smokin' hot and he has a rather amazing schlong...his face is somewhat, unfortunate. But it's cyber-sex right, so who cares I'll just give him a new face! That worked well the first few times we chatted then he said, swear to God, "I am IN love with you." My first thought was something like NOHEFUCKINDIDN'T! Then I decided to just ignore the whole thing. That's when the e-cards started showing up. I now have 6 cards in less than 48 hours, all of them more desperate than the last. Now I must admit I like to cyber-In fact I am rather great at it, but this is just too much!! Someone get to NYC and stop this poor man before he makes more of an ass of himself, please! Just don't tell him I sent you-and for the love of all that is holy don't tell him where I live! Cyber-stalking is creepy enough, I don't need him on my doorstep with a Hallmark store in tow!

Showing Some Love

So, As some of you may have noticed, my blog is looking much better. There are links, a HNT button, and a cute phrase rather than just, "comments." No way in hell did I pull this off on my own! Thanks Thomcat, for putting down the guitar and the Saturday beer long enough to hook me up! I owe you one so... How should I remit payment?! Get back to me on that, ok?

Can Someone Explain This...PLEASE?!!!

I need help with something. I was IMing JG today and of course he is treating me like I am a whore, which I sooo don't deserve. I can appreciate, to a certain extent, where he is coming from though. This is what bothers me...I have been posting all about J and JG for as long as I have known them. I met J. First and we had plans together which were discussed here. Somehow JG either didn't see those posts or he chose to disregard them-I am not sure which. Now he is feeling betrayed because I did something I had told all of you I was going to do. Maybe I am just an idiot, but that seems like rather convoluted logic to me. So my question is this. Can anyone out there explain to me why he feels like I have done something so horribly wrong when all I think I did was follow through with my plans? I'd really like to be able to understand. And can I just say...Men, sheeeesh!

11 Questions to Combat the Monday Blahs

Ok, everybody, play along with me here! I have 11 EASY questions to get your brains moving along at a less sluggish pace. I know it's Monday and we are all worn out but do the best you can, ok?
1. How many times did you throw up this weekend? (None so far, but I am writing this on Sat. morning so there's a ways to go yet!)
2. What is Your Favorite sexual position? (Cowgirl. Giddyap men!)
3. Worst thing you ever swallowed by accident. (Dip Spit!!!!! Ewwwwww.)
4. If you were a candy bar you'd be a...Why? (Take 5, 'cause that's what you want to do after going a round or two with me!)
5. Dumbest thing you ever did. (Got married at 18, dumb dumb dumb..so dumb!)
6. Best mixer for Vodka? (Straight up, icy cold, Thanks!)
7. Casual Sex or Committed Relationship? (Both please! Hey, It's MY quiz!)
8. Favorite song right now? ("Closer" by NIN...it's such a great fuck song!)
9. What do you do when "sorry" isn't enough? (Kick thier stubbornn ass to the curb, Bye JG!)
10. Cyber-sex anyone? ( Only on days that end in "Y"!)
11. Best beer ever? (Love my Red Stripe!)

Or maybe not...

I have the warm fuzzies right now from all the love you guys threw me since I started my monthly at such an inopportune moment. It's nice to know even in this rather anonymous environment people still give enough of a flying fuck to wish me well. I have to say though that all was not lost. Let's hear it for TequilaGuy! He stepped up to the plate and cyber'd my blues away. (My, Gawd I may be blushing!) I am randier than most individuals, so even Flo can't keep me down for long, but still the lack of contact sucks. TequilaGuy IM'd me...yes, by the way that WAS a real IM address Em so I hope you take good notes....and we commenced to chatting. I had him laughing pretty hard, I tend to be hilarious when I am stuck in my head all day and an actual person interacts with me suddenly. Anyway...I am rambling here. We got it on pretty hot and heavy and I am pleased to say that I am no longer a writhing, wriggling knot of unfullfilled need. I am in fact, quite relaxed and am enjoying a much needed cigarette at this moment. So, fellow bloggers, welcome TequilaGuy to the club! He has completed my initiation process so it's you turn to do with him what you will...just don't hurt him!! I might want to talk to him again REAL soon...!

There Goes the Weekend!

Damn, Shit Fuck..FUUUUUCK! So, I had a hot date set up for tonight. We are talking dinner, drinks, a jaccuzzi. So what happens? "Aunt Flo" pops in for a visit...4 Fuckin' days ahead of schedule! Now, I know some guys out there don't mind, but I hate sex when I am raggin'. It's messy, sloppy, and I don't have the privilege of receiving oral, which I love ohhh sooooo much! And as one of my chat faithful pointed out...it makes the guy look like he just had a meeting with Freddy Krueger-which is not only horrifying, but very very disgusting! So, it looks like it's the couch, TV, and a heating pad for me. Sometimes, I hate being a woman...I swear I do!

In my head

You haunt my dreams
Close enough to touch
Still out of reach
I call out to you
You turn
Smile that secret smile you have
(the one that makes me almost believe in a God)
Then you are gone.
Twin spots of pain
Fall to the pillowcase
Small and shiny
A fraction of the ones I cried before.
You were
so many things
But above all you were my sunshine
And I miss your laughter
every hour
every day
You are always with me
in my heart
in my head

And now, for the stuff I like...

Okay, You all know now the things I don't like, Here's the list of stuff I do like..In no particular order if you can call rambling on an order at all! I like: Godiva chocolates, curling up in a bubble bath with a good book, MY SON, my sister and her stud-muffin, My cast of characters: Ash, Randido, John, Lil T, Joshu, Thom, KJ, Big Mike, Ari, Libra, Sesamie, Shaggadelic, Joey, Jonah, Lee, Chef, AJ and the crew at The Brick Alley (you guys are the best!), conversation, honest people, strong women, nice lipsassfacehairbody on my guys, smart people, genuine people, my eyes- but I hate the rest of me! My cats who always know when mom needs to be loved, football, soccer, basketball, kickboxing, Kenneth Cole "Black" perfume, daisies, my tongue ring, my tattoos (I have three), NIN, Alice In Chains, getting stuff for free, being lazy on cold rainy days, bonfires, laughing (I do it in my sleep and wake myself up), comfy shoes, jeans and t-shirts, skinny dipping, Jamocha Almond Fudge ice cream, and being who I am even when that pisses other people off.

Jeepers Creepers... Do you see my Peepers?

SO I MADE A MESS OF THINGS... AS USUAL

You all remember JG right? He is the hot, successful, smart as hell guy from North Carolina I was supposed to meet Monday night in Louisville. Well, some things came up with the now ex LTR and I neded to be there for him. Needless to say I didn't make it to meet JG, although he did know I wasn't coming. Now, in his professional life JG stays extremely busy. NYC one day, then KY, then all over TN. Point is, he can be a hard guy to catch up with and talk to. I was missing him because we hadn't had a truly meaningful chat in more than a week. I waited and waited while he finished up work for the day, then we started to talk. One of the first questions was whether there was anything new here. Now, I could have said no, hoped he hadn't already looked, and deleted the blog to bits. But, being the honest gal I like to think of myself as I simply advised him that I didn't think he should read it. Naturally he wanted to know why. So I told him I went out with J. and that we slept together. That didn't go over so well; in fact he was pretty pissed. Well, pissed is probably not the best description, more like REALLY hurt. Now, for those handful of readers out there who know me I HATE HURTING ANYONE! I am not the kind of girl who gets off on fucking with people or playing with someone's emotions. So, right now I feel like 5 pounds of Grade A shit. I have apologized, but I know that isn't going to fix this. And to be honest, JG deserves someone better than me anyway; but still it hurts. Not because he will likely never talk to me again, but because I hurt him deeply and I hate knowing how he thinks of me now. And because I feel like an idiot for making him feel unimportant! Did you follow all that?
So JG if you read this know that I never meant to hurt you. I think you are really a great guy and would like to see if this isn't something we can fix; and if it isn't then I guess that's how it has to be. Maybe I am dumb but I honestly didn't know you were that into me, guess I missed the signs big time didn't I? Well, you know how to find me, and if you give me the chance I will make it up to you-somehow. All the best regardless of how this turns out.

The perfect excuse...

"I am very brave generally, only today I happen to have a headache."-Tweedledum

OK...I'll talk about me now. (Blah, blah, blah...)

Where to start? I am 29, divorced 9 years and the mother of one incredible son. My child is my pride and joy, and the reason I get out of bed most days. I have never had very good luck in relationships, it seems there is something about me that encourages infidelity. I say this because with the exception of one guy every single person I have dated seriously, or in one case married, has cheated on me. You would think I would hate men by now, but rather than take out my frustration on the entire gender I try to keep my past experiences in the past. After all, the men in my life now didn't do anything, so why should I take it out on them?! I try to be an optimist but some days that is a helluva a lot harder than you'd think. Ummmm.....I was adopted when I was 9 days old, and NO I don't feel like a part of me is missing. I have a sister who is one awesome chica and I adore her beyond words. She keeps me sane and puts things in perspective when I need it most, she is also my biggest supporter and number one fan. I also have a whole host of "chat buddies," some better than others-and you know who you are. They fill my days with music and laughter and deep thoughts and don't let me take myself too seriously.
Stuff I hate: posers, people who dumb themselves down to fit in with a crowd, cotton balls (yes, they terrify me!), racists, child abusers, two-faced folk, country music, bourbon, bad sex, liars, cheaters, manipulative people, being late for anything, control freaks, brussel sprouts, "date movies", traffic, boy bands, teen pop singers, licorice, sand in my ass crack, living where I do, crappy books, materialism and throwing up.

More flowers, My weakness! 

Someone Should Have Reminded Me I'd Feel Like This!

Good Afternoon to all! I just wanted to share my pain with all my readers out there.... I am soooo sore today! Every muscle in my entire body aches, and all my nerve endings feel raw. Damn but he's great!!! I have teeth marks on my neck and earlobes, a bruise inside my lower lip...and yet I cannot wait to do it all over again! I need a masseuse and some painkillers...anybody out there want to hook me up with either of those just let me know! I will be back when my body starts to function normallly again--if it ever does. I may just be broken beyond repair this time!!

Me 

Mmmm Mmmm GREAT (PART TWO)

So, here I am in Starbucks with the best looking man in Cincinnati. Sipping our coffee, laughing about the silliest things, and finishing one another's sentences. Leaned into one another over the little table with our fingers entwined and all I can think is...I have to go soon, and I may not see him again. See, J is moving to Arizona here soon, and I don't know how we'll manage to hook up when he is gone. Even worse is the fact that I don't want him to be gone; somehow he managed to get to me even though it was the last thing I expected. Eventually coffee was done, and we had to head back. Bleary eyed and fuzzy headed we staggered into the room and collapsed on the bed. A few kisses and then we had to try to sleep a little. Snuggled up next to J with my head pillowed on his shoulder and his arm around me I found myself restless. I didn't want to waste what time we had left with dreams...I wanted to be with him. The rhythm of his breathing and the look on his face, so relaxed and innocent in sleep, soon had me following him into dreamland.
The radio alarm goes off a few times, the phone rings twice (thanx guys!) and then finally we were alone for that last hour. I cannot say for certain if J felt what I did, but I was so completely into him, into us, that I just let myself go completely. I held none of myself back yet I urged him to take even more. He complied with my request and when I felt him shiver behind me I knew a bliss that I had only heard about before. Our time together was done. All at once I was exhilarated, exhausted,and bereft. I did not want to have to say goodbye to him and to the feelings he stirred inside me. We parted ways with a gentle kiss and a hug.
J, I hope you know how wonderful and unique I think you are, and I hope we can stay in touch. You are one hell of a great thing and I am glad to have found you. I hope we'll meet again!

Mmmm Mmmmm GREAT!--PART ONE

Welcome back, it's late Monday afternoon and I am struggling as I write this. I know for a fact now that 30 minutes of sleep is just not enough! I spent last night in Cincinnati with J. (For those friends of his out there that doubt I am talking about a guy you know and love...the J stems from a name in The Bible involving a man who was swallowed by a whale.) Anyway, I have to tell you, J is sooooo much hotter than his picture, and those were really hot. He has the sexiest smile, these amazing hazel eyes, and a killer body. He is, in a word, perfection!
After spending over an hour in traffic, then getting lost, I finally met J in our hotel lobby. First impression....Breathless! He was stretched out on the lobby sofa, working on his laptop, and looking soooo delectable! We said "hi" and exchanged hugs then headed to the room so we could get more comfortable.
After opening and pouring us both some champagne J settled in on the couch, and I joined him. We chatted, laughed and got to know one another face to face. Finally, thankfully, he kissed me. J has the softest, warmest lips ever...I could have cheerfully drowned in him in that very instant and not even cared about breathing. He carried me over to the bed where things got hotter, boiling hot actually! Now, to respect his privacy-and because a girl has to have some secrets-all I'll say is it was the best, hottest, most intense sex I had ever had up to that point. I am getting goosebumps all over just thinking about it! J has some serious assets besides that mouth and those hands..and he uses them like no one else could!
After cooling down J and I got dressed and took a walk in Downtown Cincy so we could have a much needed cigarette. (Although I am sure I needed it more than he did!!) Hand in hand we walked along the freezing streets laughing and just basking in the glow of one another. I was so warm just being in his company that I didn't even mind the cold so much! We came across a guy who claimed to be hard up on his luck, so J gave him some cash...an act that melted even my heart. Then we went into the lounge to warm up and talk some more.
J. is truly a great conversationalist. He is well read, articulate, and can talk about anything with depth, and if required, passion. We discussed philosophy, religion, metaphysics, politics-you name it. At times he had me completely enthralled and at other times I was laughing so hard I thought I might die. J. a very complex and insightful man, and I loved that about him. But, talking only goes so far...and we did have a big bed upstairs....
So after another quick smoke we returned to the bedroom for more champagne, talking, and kissing. Believe it or not things this time were even more intense. He tied my hands down and made me insane, then finally I got to get a hold of him. Now, either I had a mild stroke or the pretty colors behind my eyes were solely the result of the things he was doing to me. Looking into his eyes while we made love I felt so connected to him, and then I just fell away from myself and INTO him completely. Never have I felt such intensity! My whole body was literally vibrating with the force of my orgasms! My shoulders, ears, wrists, and neck were hot where he had bitten me, a fact which made me even hotter for him. Lying curled up next to him- and listening to his heartbeat- I felt very small, and secure, all of a sudden. In fact I was downright mushy-if you can believe that! J. and I talked some more and tried to go to sleep, but we were both too keyed up. We got up and showered together, got dressed, and headed for Starbucks to get some go go juice in our systems. (Continued)